Mixed Feelings About A Few Days Away
I am spending a few days away from my family. I have a work trip taking me away from Monday morning until Thursday evening.
It is the longest I have been away since we had our first kid, and only the second time I've been away for more than a night. I miss my family more than I can describe. Especially my 2 year old. He's turning into such a sweet, funny kid. Monday morning he came into our room at 6am (5 am by Saturday's clock, thanks DST!!) and climbed into bed. For months he has been doing this and straight refusing to sleep. He rolls, he bounces, he asks when it's going to be time to get up.
Today was different. He asked nicely to be lifted into the bed. He asked, in his adorable, high-pitched semi-lisp, "Snuggles?" He put his head down on my shoulder, breathed deep, burrowed into the blankets and went back to sleep. I was lying there, teetering on the edge of sleep, his warm weight pressing on my shoulder and chest. In that moment I felt so at home, and I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
On the other hand, I am looking forward to a few days away. I'll be socalizing with adults, sleeping in a king bed all to myself, working on my job and my personal projects rather than just making the house go. If you had asked me a few weeks ago I would have told you that I was over the moon excited for this trip. Now that it's here I find that I miss my snuggly little boys. This is good! It means I am well suited to be a father. It means I didn't make a mistake having children, even though it often felt that way for the first months after we had our oldest.
It's a good feeling.